After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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