Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
