omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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