guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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