i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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