so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
