No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
