They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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