I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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