I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize