I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
