Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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