I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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