Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
