I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
