Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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