Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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