based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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