Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
