Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
