ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
