what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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