Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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