We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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