eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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