Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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