Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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