So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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