You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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