Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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