i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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