He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize