yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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