What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
