I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
