My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i think i just lost a toe
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
