You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dicks are not precious.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize