But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
