weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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