why didn't you poke me back
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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