honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
