so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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