im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
even my farts smell like vagina
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
