I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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