Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
