I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
