It's just like the Real World with babies
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i believe in u and ur pee
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