So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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