why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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