your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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