Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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