I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
