You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
