And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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