I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My day in three words: secret purse cake
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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