You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
