Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize